You see, about seven months ago, my back-door neighbor--a Cat Lady with eight indoor cats--adopted a dog. A dog who, by the way, participated in an attack on my little Fiona-girl, back when the Cat Lady was helping out a friend by keeping Bark-y Dog and another Shepard mix in her back yard. Both how they got there and the attack are long, sad stories. Unfortunately now, because the other dog bit me while attacking Fiona, Barky Dog lives alone in Cat Lady's backyard.
And now Barky Dog barks. She barks ALL. THE. TIME. Because Cat Lady has indoor cats, Barky Dog lives outside. And when there, Barky Dog does what she does best--barks. She barks for hours at a time. She barks until 11pm at night. She barks when the wind blows, the sun shines, or a bird sings. She does take 15 minute breaks sometimes because, I assume, she's a Union dog and those breaks are in her Barky Dog contract.
As a Shepard mix, her bark is deep and echoes down the hill, into my house and directly onto That Nerve. Yes, That Nerve, the last one, the one that twangs and twitches and, after setting teeth on edge and creating frown lines, knocks on the door labeled, "Temper."
Today, I could take it no longer. Today, That Nerve knocked hard on the door with the label. So I wrote Cat Lady an email--a very calm and what I thought was a very respectful email (I'd been composing it since the four-hour barking jag on Monday and had a couple of people read it over before sending it). Of course, Cat Lady did not feel the same way. She called to defend herself and Barky Dog. Barky Dog supposedly doesn't bark all the time. Barky Dog's just barking with the neighborhood dogs (bullshit). Barky Dog's just barking at the people walking past. Excuses, excuses.
HOWEVER, after a bit of a heated debate about what was really going on--we agreed to disagree, though she's wrong--she did say that she was "working on" getting Barky Dog trained so the barking wouldn't be so bad.
Yes, I've become THAT neighbor. And I LOVE dogs. But I HATE barking dogs. Especially ones that bark constantly.
Thanks for listening (that is, if you made it all the way through this long post).