Elegy for the English Language
by a fabulous student who will remain nameless on this blog
Oh, English language! You'll never be the same.
The kids have misused you and turned you into slang.
Is is now be and no one says sorry.
It's always their bad cuz he be throwin' a party.
Everything's beast and what had happened was...
He be lazy and talks like this.
She used to wear a hat but now she be wearin' that stank thang.
Her weave be messed up and he ain't cut like me.
Oh, English language! What happened to you?
Why can't we all conjugate so the world isn't blue?
This makes me feel better in multiple ways. First off, I don't feel like such an old fogey for complaining about "the way kids talk these days" because many of their peers feel the same way.
Second, there's hope for the future! We have students who understand the difference between proper grammar and slang. They even understand when it's appropriate to use slang and when you should speak using standard American English (hanging with friends versus a job/professional situation).
Ah, kids. What are you going to do?